"I'm here for the gang bang."

There’s a scene in the film Old School, close to the beginning, in which something momentous happens. It occurs after Mitch Martin takes the early flight home from San Diego and catches his girlfriend Heidi “pre the act,” so to speak. Mitch walks into their bedroom and finds Heidi on the bed watching porn, and then sees two mostly-naked, blindfolded strangers come out of the bathroom ready to “doubleteam” his girlfriend. But the scene I’m really talking about, shortly after that traumatizing scene, is the one in which Mitch and Heidi are speaking in the kitchen after the blindfolded strangers incident. The doorbell rings, Heidi gets this “oh-no-I-forgot-about-that” look on her face, and Mitch answers the door. Outside the door, there’s a man with 70s looking curly hair and a cheesy outfit who says “Hello.” Mitch says “Yeah,” to which the man responds, in a very comfortable tone, “I’m here for the gang bang.”

So first of all, this tacky, doorbell ringing guy is actually played by Todd Phillips, the director of the film, who is credited for said performance as “Gang Bang Guy.” But more importantly, have we appropriated this Hollywood gem or what? Since Mariah and I live in a large apartment building, people have to call up so that we can buzz them into the lobby. It’s not uncommon, particularly for Jeff and Josh, to call up and say “I’m here for gang bang.” For me, at least, this NEVER gets old, and so I encourage all of you, next time you come over and need us to buzz you up, to say “I’m here for the gang bang.” It’ll lighten the mood and remind me of one of the greatest comedies Hollywood has ever produced.